Bulletproof I Wish I Was
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: [CSI Miami] Takes place after But She Breaks. A difficult case becomes personal for Alexx and brings back unwelcome memories for Calleigh. [HoratioCalleigh] COMPLETE.
1. one

Title: Bulletproof . . . I Wish I Was 

Author: Melanie-Anne

Email: melani_anne@yahoo.com 

Rating: R, for some disturbing content, and adult situations.

Archive: Anywhere, just let me know so I can visit. 

Summary: Takes place after But She Breaks. A difficult case becomes personal for Alexx and brings back unwelcome memories for Calleigh. [Horatio/Calleigh]

Spoilers: Miniscule references to Broken and Kill Zone.

Disclaimer: ::sigh:: The characters don't belong to me, no infringement is intended, blah blah blah . . .

A/N: The third in my series. You should read Kryptonite and But She Breaks first. This is not a happy story, but I hope you'll stick around for the ride. Special thanks to Marianne for clearing something up for me :o)

* * *

limb by limb and tooth by tooth

tearing up inside of me

everyday every hour wish that i

was bullet proof

wax me

mold me heat the pins

and stab them in

you have turned me into this

~Radiohead, "Bulletproof . . . I wish I was"

* * *

Charles Reyes woke up thinking today would be the same as every other. He showered, shaved and got dressed for work. He had cornflakes and coffee for breakfast but when he looked across the table at the empty seat, he decided enough was enough. He left the unfinished meal and went back to the bedroom. He undressed, leaving his security guard uniform lying crumpled on the floor. From his closet, he took out camouflage pants and a vest. When he was dressed, he pulled on a pair of boots and laced them tightly. Jenny had bought them for him at an army surplus store. She'd joked that now he was ready to run off and join the marines. He'd told her he'd never leave his Jenny.

His Jenny. Not anymore.

He went into the living room and unlocked the cabinet where he kept his guns. His favorite was the 9mm. Israeli-made Uzi. He slung it over his shoulder then picked up his 9mm. pistol. It was loaded with a fourteen-round clip; he always kept his guns loaded. He slid it into a hip holster then picked up his shotgun. Now he was ready.

He called his boss and told him he had the flu and wouldn't be coming in. His boss said he hoped he was feeling better soon.

He locked the house as he left, not making any attempt to hide his weapons. His car struggled to start, and for a fleeting moment he thought about going back to bed.

It started. The moment passed. 

Charles Reyes reversed out of his driveway and headed south.

It was 9:40 a.m.

* * *

Jennifer Alvarez stood in front of her kindergarten class and spoke above the noise. She banged her palm on her desk to get the children's attention, and when they fell silent, she began passing out sheets of paper. "This week we're learning about space. Does anyone have anything they'd like to share about space?"

A freckled boy with a gap-toothed grin held up his hand.

"Yes, Michael?" Jennifer asked. She sat on the edge of her desk and pushed her glasses up.

"It's big," Michael said, giggling.

"Yes, it's big. What else?"

"There're aliens." This from Abby, a pigtailed blonde in the front row.

Though the other kids laughed, Jennifer nodded. "That's very possible. Now, does everyone have paper? Good. I want you to draw space."

"How? We don't know what's in it?" Susan, Abby's identical twin, worried about everything.

"Well, use your imagination. If you think there are aliens, what do they look like? What about the other planets? Or spaceships? There's lots to draw, you see?"

As the children started drawing, Jennifer wandered around the classroom, commenting on each of the pieces. She glanced outside the window as she passed it, and stopped. There was a familiar car parked in the street. She squinted, and saw her ex-boyfriend sitting in the driver's seat. When he saw her watching, he waved. She turned away.

Five minutes later, as Abby was asking what color Martians were, Charles Reyes walked into the classroom and opened fire.

Three minutes after that, he looked around the room, nodded once, and walked out.

* * *

The press was already at Jacob's Ladder Kindergarten when the CSIs arrived. Adele Sevilla was waiting on the steps to brief the team. "You'll have to wait for the medics to finish up in there."

As she spoke, a uniformed paramedic wheeled a stretcher out. Cameras flashed as the child was loaded into an ambulance. Calleigh and Alexx watched, horrified. Horatio put his hand on Calleigh's arm. "It's going to be worse inside," he said.

Calleigh nodded, paler than she normally was. "I know. It's just . . . they're children."

"I know. Speed. Alexx. You guys okay?"

They nodded and everyone turned to look at the next stretcher that came out. A paramedic followed, a blonde girl in his arms. She was sobbing into his shoulder. Another ambulance pulled up.

"How many injured?" Horatio asked.

The paramedic with the child sighed. "We've sent eight to the hospital so far. Another five or six, I think."

"Dead?"

"I don't know." He nodded to the girl in his arms. "She's not hurt at all."

"Hi," Horatio said. "What's your name?"

"Abby," she sniffed.

"I'm Horatio."

Abby managed a tiny smile. "That's a funny name."

"I suppose it is." He took off his sunglasses. "Can I talk to you about what happened?"

She shook her head and buried her face in the paramedic's neck. "I want my mommy."

"Okay," Horatio said. He turned back to his team. "Adele, what's the status on the shooter?"

"We have a description but no id. Witnesses saw a man walk out carrying a rifle and drive off in a gray or blue Ford Taurus."

Five more children were wheeled out before the CSIs were allowed in. They stood at the classroom door and surveyed the carnage. Children lay sprawled on the floor, bent over desks, some still clutching their crayons. The teacher lay on her back, her eyes still open in fear.

Horatio pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and stepped inside. He counted eight bodies in all.

"Why would someone do this?" Calleigh murmured. "They're just children."

"Well, all except one." He turned to look at Jennifer Alvarez.

The group worked silently as they began to process the scene. Sometimes there was just nothing to say. At the rear of the room, Speed found two children hiding behind a bookshelf. They clung to each other, too afraid to move. Speed sank to his haunches and tried to entice them out. Thinking they might be less afraid of a woman, he called Calleigh over. Eventually, the children realized they were safe and crept forward. Speed and Calleigh tried to shield them from seeing the crime scene as they took them outside.

The parents of the children who hadn't been taken to hospital had assembled in the playground. When Speed and Calleigh handed the children over to a paramedic, three of the parents ran forward, crying tears of relief. Calleigh glanced at the remaining parents before she returned inside, seeing their hope turn to despair, and knew she could do nothing to ease their pain.

Speed took photographs, moving grimly through the room. Half-finished drawings still lay on the desks. A shooting star, a space rocket, a purple alien . . . the innocent pictures spattered with blood.

Calleigh began the long task of collecting bullets. She found shell casings on the floor and an empty clip. There were bullets lodged in the walls, in the desks and in the floorboards. She identified three different types of bullets and wondered why one man had needed three weapons.

Alexx knelt beside one of the children. She felt the back of his head, finding an exit wound for the bullet that had struck his forehead. There were two more wounds in his chest; it was too early to tell which injury had come first. "Poor baby," she said. "You didn't know what hit you, did you?"

Horatio found a seating plan in Jennifer's desk and managed to work out what each child's name was based on where they lay. He consulted with Adele for the names of the children at the hospital, then gave her the go-ahead to tell the parents of the dead. He took out a flashlight to help look for bullets. When he passed Jennifer's body, something on her finger flickered. He looked closer; there was a diamond engagement ring on her left hand.

"Okay," he said. "Let's get everything back to the lab. Calleigh, I want to know what he was shooting with. I want this place sealed. We'll come back this afternoon for a reconstruction."


	2. two

Alexx couldn't afford the luxury of allowing death to affect her. If she cried for every single body that passed through her autopsy lab, she would lose her mind. But every now and then, one case stood out from the rest. She would never forget little Ruthie Crighton, dead too soon at the hands of a pedophile. As she looked at the first body on her table, she knew she would never forget this case either.

As she began the Y-incision, she remembered that she and her husband had considered sending their kids to Jacob's Ladder. They'd eventually settled on a kindergarten closer to their house; not that it mattered now. The kids were both in elementary school.

"Oh, honey." She noticed the girl's ears were newly pierced and had to choke back a sudden sob. 

* * *

By unspoken agreement, Calleigh and Horatio kept their relationship out of the office. Since her return, they had taken things slowly, neither wanting to push the other too hard. Because she had only been back for two weeks, Horatio was concerned that she was overworking herself. This was her first big case and he could see she was already taking strain. He didn't blame her; the crime scene was a picture straight from hell.

"Are you okay?" he asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

She nodded and pulled her hair into a ponytail. "The kids are always the worst. Let's do this." She began setting up the dummies.

Horatio's phone rang. He moved to the edge of the room to answer it, out of Calleigh's way. His indrawn breath caught her attention and she looked up in concern. He hung up and put the phone away.

"That was Adele. One of the kids died on the operating table." His mind quickly recalled the seating plan and he crossed to one of the front desks. "Susan Fox. Her sister was Abby, the girl with the paramedic."

When Calleigh didn't respond, he looked at her, and frowned. She was staring at the bloody desk, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Calleigh?"

Her lips formed a word and Horatio knew what she was thinking. He reached for her hand. 

"I know about Clayton," he said, remembering the conversation he'd had with her mother. Clayton, Calleigh's dead twin. 

Calleigh snapped back to the present, her expression hardening. "Clay is none of your business."

Her tone surprised him. "Calleigh, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She pulled her hand away. "We've got work to do."

* * *

Charles Reyes pulled up outside the offices of Sanchez, Sanchez and Harris. Lawyers, he thought disdainfully. Jenny had chosen a lawyer over him. Well, he'd made her pay, and now he would make Matthew Sanchez pay for stealing Jenny. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and climbed out of the car. He left the Browning on the passenger seat; he wouldn't need it here, it had another purpose.

Calmly, he strode towards the entrance. As he stepped through the doors, he opened fire. The people he hit were just faceless obstacles. He found himself outside Sanchez's office and kicked the door open. Sanchez was cowering behind his desk, his phone in his hand. Reyes could hear a woman's voice on the other side.

"Sir, sir, are you still there? Sir, if you can get out of the building, do so as quickly as you can. The police are on their way—"

Reyes smiled and shot the phone out of Sanchez's hand. Sanchez screamed. Reyes held the barrel of the shotgun to Sanchez's forehead and pulled the trigger.

He bet that now Sanchez was sorry he'd stolen someone else's girlfriend.

Still smiling, he left the way he came, paying no attention to the mess he'd created. He was gone long before the police arrived on the scene.

* * *

Delko, Speed and Alexx got out of the Hummer and slipped under the yellow police tape. Adele met them halfway.

"From eyewitness accounts, it seems this is the same guy who was at the kindergarten." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose to keep her headache at bay. "How is it possible that this guy managed to just walk away from two crime scenes?"

No one had an answer for her.

"This is a law firm," Delko observed. "How is he deciding where he kills?"

"Not where, who." Speed squinted at the building. "Let's go see who works here."

* * *

Horatio had seen enough of hospitals to last a lifetime. As he and Calleigh walked into the waiting room, he was reminded of Calleigh's hospital stay. He remembered those awful hours while he waited for news from the operating room, and he could see his feelings mirrored in the faces of the parents. Abby Fox sat in a corner of the room with her parents. A doctor stood and turned, leaving them with their grief.

Horatio glanced at Calleigh, worried about her. She'd closed off and shut him out, and he wondered if he should take her off the case. It was possible, he thought, that she was only now dealing with what had happened to her. He was familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder, and it wasn't unusual to manifest itself months later.

Horatio crossed the room and sat on the floor next to Abby. Her parents didn't even notice his presence.

"Hi, Abby. Do you remember me? I'm Horatio."

She nodded.

"Abby, I need your help. Will you help me?"

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked up at him. He took it as encouragement to continue.

"I want to catch the man who hurt your sister. Do you think you could tell me what happened?"

Fresh tears welled up in her eyes at the mention of Susan. She sniffed. "You promise you'll catch him?"

"I promise."

Abby closed her eyes. "We were drawing space. I was drawing an alien and this man just came in and he had all these guns. Miss Alvarez started speaking to him but I wasn't listening 'cause Susie was telling me to get under the desk so I did. And then I heard this real loud noise and everyone was screaming and then there was this noise next to me and I looked and it was Susie." She faltered, choking back a sob.

"You're doing great, Abby. Did you see his face?"

She scrunched up her forehead and shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I was looking at Susie and she was hurt and I just stayed where I was. And then the noise stopped but I still stayed where I was. And then these other men came and took her away. Mommy says she's in heaven now."

Horatio nodded, tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Abby."

"Mr. Horatio, will that help you catch him?" Abby clutched his shirtsleeve, her eyes earnest, pleading. Horatio noticed they were the exact shade of blue as Calleigh's.

"Yes," he said.

Mrs. Fox suddenly noticed a stranger talking to her child. "Who are you?" she demanded, her voice sharp with fear.

Horatio showed her his badge. "Horatio Caine, Miami crime lab."

Mrs. Fox softened instantly. "Oh . . . When you find him, you ask him why . . . why . . ." She dabbed her eyes with a crumpled Kleenex.

Horatio stood and went to Calleigh, risking putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she said before he could ask. Her eyes told a different story.

"Why don't you go back to the lab? See how Aaron's doing with those bullets." He pulled the keys for the Hummer from his pants pocket and held them out. Calleigh deliberated for a moment, then took them.

"How will you get back?"

"I'll make a plan."

He watched her leave, his heart torn between wanting to be with her and knowing he needed to be here. He had to speak to the other children before he could return to the lab.

As he headed towards another set of parents, his phone rang. It was Speed, telling him about the shooting at Sanchez, Sanchez and Harris.

* * *

There had been too much death today, Alexx thought. She tied the plastic sheet over Jennifer Alvarez's body then pulled off her gloves and dropped them in the bin. 

In the break room, she poured herself a cup of coffee and switched the TV on, then flopped onto a couch, exhausted. A pretty young reporter was on the screen. Alexx recognized the kindergarten behind her and decided not to turn the volume up. It seemed like she couldn't escape this case. 

The camera panned to the front steps of the school, where people had already begun to leave flowers and gifts. Alexx closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer heavenward. Then she reached for the phone.

"Hey, honey," she said when her daughter answered. "I just wanted to say hi."

On the screen, the reporter was speaking to one of the parents. Alexx turned the TV off. She made herself comfortable on the couch. "Janie, baby, how's your day been? How was school?"


	3. three

Horatio knew it would be a long time before he would be able to get the children out of his head. The ones who were awake had the same story as Abby: a man had come in and started shooting and they had been too scared to look at him.

He paid his taxi fare, then headed up the steps and into CSI. He decided to see how Calleigh was doing in ballistics, but Speed ambushed him on the way. 

"I just got off the phone with Jennifer Alvarez's sister. She says Jennifer moved down here from Orlando to get away from her ex-boyfriend. Said he wouldn't let go, kept calling her, following her around, sending her gifts. She says things were okay for a while after Jennifer moved, but then she got engaged and the ex followed her down here."

Horatio nodded; Speed's words made sense. It wouldn't take much to push an already unbalanced person over the edge.

"Jennifer's fiancé is Matthew Sanchez," Speed continued. "He was killed in the second shooting."

"Do we have a name for the ex-boyfriend?"

"Charles Reyes. Jennifer filed a restraining order against him up in Orlando."

Too bad pieces of paper couldn't stop bullets, Horatio thought. "Good work, Speed. See if you can get hold of someone at the Orlando PD. Jennifer's parents might be in danger too. We can't afford to take any chances with this guy. I'll let Adele know we have a name."

He reached into his pocket for his phone as he headed to the ballistics lab. The sooner he wrapped this case up, the sooner he could find out what was going on with Calleigh.

"Adele, it's Horatio." He peered through the window of the lab and saw Aaron counting out bullets. "Our shooter is Charles Reyes."

There was a sigh from the other end of the phone. "Charles Reyes? Okay. I'll put out an APB on him."

"Thanks." He hung up and entered the lab, smiling at Aaron. He had hired him as a temporary replacement for Calleigh, but Aaron had quickly become part of the team. When Calleigh had returned, he had decided to keep Aaron on. They had been shorthanded since Megan's departure, and Aaron had the endearing quality of doing things without being told to. It made life a lot easier when things were rushed, as they were today.

Aaron looked up when Horatio walked in. "H. what brings you down here? Looking for Calleigh?"

"You haven't seen her?" The first warning light went off in his head.

"Not since you guys dropped off the bullets from the school. Oh, in case there was any doubt, they match the bullets from the law firm."

"Thanks," Horatio murmured, his thoughts elsewhere. He knew he shouldn't have left Calleigh alone, not when there was something so obviously wrong. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen his Hummer in the car park. He doubted she'd even come back to CSI at all. So where was she?

His cell phone rang. Still thinking of Calleigh, he answered with a distracted, "Caine."

"It's John. I've got a body for you."

"I'm a little busy right now. I'll send someone."

"I think it's your shooter."

That got Horatio's attention. "What?"

"Looks like a single shot to the head," Hagen continued.

Horatio sighed. "Where are you?"

Hagen rattled off an address not far from Sanchez, Sanchez and Harris. Ten minutes later, Horatio and Alexx were on their way.

Hagen was leaning against his car when they pulled up. He tilted his head towards a dirty blue Ford Taurus three parking spaces away. Horatio pulled on a pair of gloves and opened the door.

Charles Reyes sat upright in the driver's seat, his head sagging to one side. A 9mm. pistol lay on his lap, the fingers of his right hand wrapped loosely around the trigger. An Uzi and a shotgun were on the back seat. Horatio went around to the other side and opened the glove compartment. He found a driver's license, confirming Reyes' identity.

Alexx began a quick examination of the body. "Makes you wonder why he didn't just do this in the first place," she said.

"Mmm," Horatio agreed. "There's not much consolation for those he left behind. John, won't you call Adele? Tell her she can stop looking for him."

They processed the scene quickly and silently. As they loaded the body into the van, Horatio asked Alexx if she knew where Calleigh was.

"I haven't seen her since this morning."

"Umm." Horatio bit his lower lip.

"I'm sure she's fine," Alexx continued. "You can't be with her every second of the day."

Horatio nodded. He thought about what Alexx said and realized he'd made a point of working with Calleigh on every case since she'd returned. Maybe he'd been crowding her, he wondered. Maybe the lack of space was part of what was bugging her.

Still, he decided, if she wasn't at CSI when they got back, he would look for her. He'd ignored this feeling once before, and Calleigh had ended up pinned to his couch with a sword through her.

* * *

There was a message from a Jake Stevenson waiting for Horatio. The name was familiar, but he couldn't recall where it was from. He sat behind his desk, tapping his fingers as the phone rang.

"Hello?" There was a lot of background noise; Horatio could barely make out what was said.

"This is Lieutenant Caine, I'm looking for Jake Stevenson."

"Hang on a sec. Jake!" Horatio pulled the phone away from his ear as the girl yelled. A few seconds later, the background noise quieted and a new voice spoke.

"This is Jake."

"It's Horatio Caine. You called earlier?"

"Yeah, I run a shooting range just outside of Miami. You were here a couple of months back when that sniper was loose, right?"

Now Horatio remembered. Jake Stevenson, ex-marine corps. Also Calleigh's ex-boyfriend. "Yes, I was."

"Thing is, Calleigh pitched up a little while ago. I went over to talk to her but she ignored me and started shooting. Now she's just sitting there. I figured something was up, and I didn't know who else to call."

Horatio thought of the report he should be writing, and the autopsy he should be attending, and sighed. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Call me on my cell if she leaves."

* * *

Calleigh lay on the grass, her arm muscles aching. She let go of the rifle and slowly sat up, stretching her arms above her head. She looked down at the gun and thought of the kindergarten classroom. Guns had done that. And she had come out here to take out her frustration using a gun. She wondered what kind of person that made her, and thought of Abby Fox, watching her sister die.

She closed her eyes and hung her head forward, burying her face in her hands. Why this case? she thought. Why not the Harwood case? Why not any other case where people had been shot? Why had this case made her wish she had never touched a gun?

Someone sat next to her. She didn't need to open her eyes to know it was Horatio, and allowed herself to smile; he would find her anywhere. He didn't say anything and she was glad. She looked up, not surprised to find him looking at her in concern. There was so much she needed to explain, but she couldn't find the words.

"Sorry I disappeared," she said.

"That's okay. We all need to disappear once in a while."

She wished he wasn't quite so understanding. It only made it harder to keep things from him. "Abby's six."

He nodded and quietly waited for her to continue. She looked out at the target, at the grass, the sky, anything to escape his gaze.

"She's going to spend the rest of her life missing a part of her soul." She wasn't talking about Abby anymore.

Horatio reached out and placed his hand over Calleigh's heart. The contact, though not unwelcome, was unexpected, and she met his eyes. "No, she won't. She'll have the memory here." He wasn't talking about Abby anymore either.

She covered his hand with hers, and smiled.

"Tell me about Clayton," he said.

Her eyes filled with tears. Damn it, she thought. Not now, not here. "What's happening with the case?" she asked.

"Reyes, our shooter, is dead. He shot himself."

Calleigh scrambled to her feet. "We need to get back to the lab." 

Horatio caught her wrist. "Calleigh."

Please, she begged silently.

Without breaking contact, he stood and pulled her into a hug.

"We're still on duty," she mumbled into his chest.

"I won't tell if you won't."

She looked up, and impulsively went up on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you."

He smiled, and she knew she wasn't completely off the hook, but he was willing to wait. Right now, that was all she wanted.

Arm in arm, they made their way to the Hummer and Horatio filled her in on the afternoon's events. "What kind of person could become so obsessed that they'd destroy all those innocent people just to kill their own pain?" Calleigh wondered aloud.

"The same kind of person who would hurt someone to exact revenge on someone else."

Calleigh stopped. "I thought we agreed that what happened to me wasn't your fault."

Horatio shrugged.

"If I blamed you, would I do this?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"We're still on duty," he said, but he was smiling.

She laughed. "I won't tell if you won't."

When they got to the Hummer, she handed him the keys. "How did you get here?"

"I drove. Dictated my report to Speed on the way, let him drive back."

She was touched at the lengths he had gone to make sure she wouldn't have to drive home by herself. She squeezed his hand then climbed into the car.

* * *

Calleigh stepped out of the shower and wrapped a robe around herself. After living with her mother for two and a half months, it was strange to be on her own again. Alexx had made sure her house was fine while she was away, and she'd returned to find everything exactly as she remembered.

There was a knock at the door. Calleigh draped her towel over the railing and padded barefoot through the house. She saw Horatio through the peephole and smiled, then let him in. He was still in his work clothes and carried takeout cartons.

"Smells good," Calleigh said. She took the food from him and went to the kitchen for plates. "Mmm, Chinese. Yum."

He opened the refrigerator, quite at home, and took out a bottle of water. Her false cheeriness didn't fool him, and he leaned against the counter and watched her flit around the room. "Feeling better?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yep. I don't know what it is about this case that got to me. But it's over now."

He caught her as she walked past him and pulled her close. Pressed up against him, she realized just how little she was actually wearing. "Calleigh, what happened?"

"The food's getting cold."

"It doesn't matter."

She exhaled softly and leaned her forehead against his chest. "Alright. What did my mother tell you?"

"Only that you were very close, and that he drowned."

She was silent, trying to draw strength from him, at the same time hating him for making her tell him. In twenty-three years, she hadn't told anyone.

"You saw him die."

She nodded. When she spoke, her voice had a faraway quality. "We were at a party with my parents. Our babysitter canceled, so we had to go. There weren't any other kids there and we were bored. Clay wanted to play in the garden, but I wanted to spy on the adults. We were fighting. But I went with him; he always got his way. They had this big dog—I don't even remember what kind of dog it was—and it scared him. He tripped and fell into the pool. He never liked the water. I screamed, and everyone came to see what was wrong, but I couldn't speak. I kept screaming and pointing and by the time they realized he'd fallen in, it was too late."

Horatio raised her chin so she was looking at him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and smiled. "Thank you for trusting me with that."

He knew, she thought. He knew how hard it was. "Let's eat," she said, and this time when she smiled, it was genuine.


	4. four

Another case closed, Alexx thought, and yet while Reyes was dead, there would be no solace for those whose lives he had destroyed. The case was over, but he would never be punished. Well, Alexx mused, fingering the cross at her neck, he wouldn't be punished on earth.

Weary of her job, the world, everything, Alexx unlocked her front door. The kids would be in bed already, but she hoped David would still be up. When she saw light flickering from the living room, she smiled. Her husband lay sprawled in front of the television, fast asleep. She quietly turned the TV off and sat beside him. 

"Hey," she whispered softly.

David opened his eyes and his lips curved upwards in a lazy smile. "Hey."

All it took was that single word, and she broke. The tears she had been holding back all day were finally allowed release.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He pulled her into his arms.

"Let's just go to bed."

He gave no argument, for which she was grateful. As they passed Janie's room, she heard low voices. Janie and Brian were sitting cross-legged on the bed, whispering to each other.

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?"

The children looked up, their expressions guilty. "Sorry, Mom," they chorused.

"We were talking about the kids at that school," Janie said. "I saw Uncle Horatio on TV."

"Yeah," Brian added. "The newslady said lots of kids died."

Alexx gave each of the children a hug and a kiss. "I don't want you to worry about that, okay? Now, off to bed. And don't forget your prayers."

"'Kay." Brian hopped off his sister's bed and headed for his room. Janie turned worried eyes to her mother.

"Mom, do you think they suffered?"

Alexx sighed; Janie was too much like her, filled with compassion for people she had never met. "Some of them. But some didn't feel a thing."

"When I die, I hope it doesn't hurt."

Alexx hugged her again. "I don't want you to think about dying. You're too young to worry about things like that."

Even as she said it, Alexx realized it wasn't true. She held her daughter a moment longer, then kissed her forehead. "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow's a school day."

Janie nodded and climbed under the covers. Alexx left the door slightly ajar. As she passed Brian's door, she heard his innocent voice murmur a prayer.

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless Mom and Dad and Janie and all the kids who went to be with You today . . ."

Alexx leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.

* * *

Horatio woke up with a not quite uncomfortable weight on his chest. It moved, mumbling something incoherent and he realized it was Calleigh. They had fallen asleep on the couch. Gently, not wanting to wake her, he shifted into a more comfortable position. Calleigh looked so innocent, so untouched, as she slept. He thought about what she'd told him and kissed her cheek.

He knew what it was like to lose a brother. Granted, he and Ray hadn't been as close as Calleigh and Clayton, but the pain was the same. He tried to imagine what it must have been like to be six years old and know your brother was in trouble, and too frozen in shock to do anything.

'It was my fault,' she'd said. 'Because I couldn't tell them what happened. And then Daddy started drinking and nothing was ever the same. I know now that nothing I could have done would have changed anything, but . . .'

His heart broke for her. Six years old, and all that guilt. 

He realized he was clutching her tighter and forced himself to relax his grip. No more guilt for Calleigh, he thought, and as long as he was around, no one would hurt her again. 

* * *

Calleigh and Horatio returned, exhausted, from the memorial service for Reyes' victims. It was worse than many others they had attended because the victims were so young. Halfway through the service, Calleigh had slipped her hand into Horatio's and shifted slightly closer to him. He had responded by putting his arm around her shoulder, and they had sat like that remainder of the service.

Calleigh was glad to be home now. She kicked off her shoes and collapsed on the couch. Her eyes closed, she could hear Horatio moving around. A few minutes later, he joined her in the living room. Smelling coffee, she opened her eyes and smiled.

"Thanks." She shifted, making room for him next to her. He handed her a mug and sat down.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing kids die."

He put his hand on her leg, letting her know he understood.

"If he hadn't killed himself, where do you think he would have gone next?"

"Who knows?"

Calleigh set her coffee down and moved closer to Horatio. "I don't want you to die without knowing how I feel about you."

"Calleigh, I'm not going anywhere."

"Shh." She took his mug and put it next to hers, then straddled him, her skirt riding up her thighs. She studied his face for a long moment, memorizing every line, every mark. She looked into his eyes, his pupils drawing her in, and cupped his cheeks, savoring the slight scratch of his stubble against her palms. Then, ever so slowly, she pressed her lips to his.

His hands moved to her hips and he pulled her closer. She deepened the kiss, letting go completely. She wound one hand through his hair; the other fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

He caught her wrist. "Calleigh, are you sure?" His voice was strained, his desire barely held in check. 

Calleigh nodded. They had not made love since she'd been back, both too afraid to ruin what they had, but Calleigh decided it was time to move forward. If anything, this case had made her realize they didn't have forever and she didn't want to live the rest of her life wondering what could have been.

Horatio released her arm and found a better use for his hands. He cupped her breasts as she resumed unbuttoning his shirt. Her fingers danced lightly across his chest, then her hands ventured lower.

A noise was intruding.

"Someone's at the door," Horatio murmured between kisses.

"They'll go away."

They didn't. The knocking continued until Calleigh reluctantly tore herself away from Horatio. She tugged her skirt back down to a decent length and quickly fixed her hair. Irritated, she yanked the door open.

Delko and Speed stood there, one holding two boxes of pizza, the other carrying beer. "Hi," Speed said. "Uh, we're not here at a bad time, are we?"

From the look on his face, he obviously knew it was a bad time, but they couldn't just leave.

"We come bearing gifts," Delko added.

"Well, then, come in," Calleigh said, making way for them to pass.

"Eric. Tim." Horatio didn't stand to greet them. Calleigh was glad to see he had re-buttoned his shirt. 

She fetched plates from the kitchen then sat next to Horatio. When she saw how awkward the other two looked, she wanted to laugh. Instead, she took a slice of pizza and leaned back. Horatio put his hand on her leg.

"I forgot it was the memorial service today," Speed said. "How'd it go?"

"It was sad, but I'm glad we went."

"Yeah, uh, we didn't realize you'd be here, H." Delko's eyes were on the hand on Calleigh's leg.

She burst out laughing. "Oh, for Pete's sake, just ask."

Speed and Delko exchanged a glance. "Are you . . . ?" Delko began.

In answer, Horatio drew Calleigh against him and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Well, it's about time," Speed said.

* * *

When Speed and Delko finally left, Horatio helped Calleigh clear up. He came up behind her while she stacked plates in the dishwasher and placed his hands on her hips.

"You're distracting me," she said.

He chuckled. "No. This would be distracting you." He slipped his hands under her shirt, one holding her still, the other fiddling with the clasp of her bra.

"Well, I suppose the dishes can wait."

"I was hoping you'd say that." His breath tickled her neck, and she smiled. Suddenly he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. When he set her down, she started to unbutton his shirt.

"No," he said. "Let me love you."

She let her hands fall to her side and was silent as he slowly undressed her. "Lie down," he commanded.

Breathless, she did as he asked, her eyes never leaving his face. His fingers brushed the scar on her belly before he bent down to kiss it. She gasped as his lips met her skin. He slipped a hand between her legs as his mouth traveled upwards, teasing kisses branding a path from her navel, across her breasts, to her collarbone.

"Promise me you'll be here when I wake up," he said.

She laughed. "It's my house."

"Promise me anyway." He looked at her, his eyes dark with desire and something else—possession, Calleigh realized, and knew that if she promised, she would be his forever.

As if she wasn't already his.

"I promise."

He smiled and resumed his kisses; her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, down past her navel, her scar, and lower, lower . . .

She closed her eyes and let Horatio love her.

* * * * *

The end. Look out for the next part of the series coming soon.


End file.
